What I’m Learning…

What I’m Learning…
By Rebekah Curlee


“It’s not personal, it’s just business,” a colleague told me at lunch, trying to console me after an older woman at work had attempted to have me fired. But it was personal. This woman had professed to be a Christian. And yet, like so many other older Christian women I’ve met in the workplace, had felt so threatened by me—my youth, my energy, my success—that she’d listened to another “Christian” woman (also older) instead of coming to me directly about some issues they were having.
I am grieved to say this isn’t the first time. This actually makes two times now that an older woman—someone whose personality I was drawn to at first, someone who I could envision myself being the best of friends with outside of work, and someone who professed to share my Christian faith—has treated me in a very un-Christ like manner at work.
The first woman, *Jan, was in her thirties and absolutely beautiful. She was a very devout Catholic with scriptures all over her desk, and had this very “cool” image I was drawn to. But shortly after she was introduced as my new supervisor, she began to change my entire job duties. I had come to that island prison (yes, literally, a prison) to be a tour guide, but she began having me do more filing in the Chapel. I hated working in the chapel because I had to work alongside offenders (mostly child molestors) in a small room with no phone or egress route in case of emergency. I had already promoted up from filing work, and though I was open to being humbled, I still didn’t appreciate the 2 hour commute, low pay and obvious dangers just to file—especially when I’d already filed everything.
It became difficult to predict what mood she’d be in one hour from the next. She’d come flying into our shared office space yelling directives to run reports on a moment’s notice for a meeting we were about to have—except she didn’t understand that I’d have to create a database first. She was very quick to criticize my every move, very quick to yell and scream at me, and then would come in the next day with a Vegetarian treat for me (I was on a Vegetarian kick at the time). I could go on about stories about her micromanagement, but the bottom line is that I didn’t feel safe there, and when her verbal abuse began to occur in front of others, I eventually had to transfer out of that position.
I moved on and up. In just five years of state service, I promoted up very quickly—advancing well beyond many older employees. I have countless other stories about “Christian” women in the workplace who have been catty, backstabbing and just cruel. In every instance, the women justified their actions as “just business” and “just” protecting their turf from the invading younger generation.
I never wanted to be enemies or even be seen as a threat. My motives were pure; I wanted to do everything I could to support them and make them a success—they just couldn’t see it.
I can’t change these women. I can’t open their eyes to see I’m not a threat to them.
All I can do is watch myself that I don’t become like them. Working in a secular job—especially government—is a huge mission field. I’m not sure other Christians fully grasp that truth. We are watched all the time. When we let others know we are Christians, we are watched even more closely. Our tone of voice, our body language, how we treat others, and how we operate politically—those are all watched by unbelievers.
“The greatest single cause of atheism in the world today is Christians who acknowledge Jesus with their lips and walk out the door and deny Him with their lifestyle.” This was a quote by DC Talk that was very popular when I was in college. I still repeat that every morning as I walk into the office. “The world is my oyster” everyone tells me,” and “success” has come quickly “for someone so young.”… But how will I act when I’m those women’s age? When I’ve been outbid on a job, or no longer getting all the kudos and praise I get now? Will I look back and remember these hard lessons? Will I act like these women before me?
These women forgot that Jesus modeled and valued relationships. Those relationships don’t stop at church, but extend into every aspect of our lives—including our workplace. I have learned that in this cold world of business and government politics that it’s not business, it’s personal.